Camo

Wow... two years later I look back, and my heart hurts for the one I used to be, tho, the one I used to be is not so much different than the one I am now, except for inside. Inside the Lord has picked up where I had jumped into sin, and continued the amazing work that he started years and years ago. He has picked me up out of the mess I got myself into, and set me on a strong firm rock. I am safe.

I still am alone, yet I am never alone, He is always by my side, and more and more I feel His presence chasing away the hurt of not having someone to love me. 

The pain of not being in the Father's will was so much worse than anything he allows me to face these days. Even when I have a bad day, I know without a doubt that I have been protected by His love.

I left a relationship that kept me from Him. God is a jealous God, He truly wants to be the center of our world. When relationships keep Him from that place, invariably if we want to be in His will, He will either teach us the right way, or if its not a godly relationship in the first place remove us from it. Today, I truly feel loved for the fact that He loves me that much.

I always wanted someone to be jealous over me ;).

This last weekend I went shopping with my amazing little sis, and found a shirt, much different than anything I have ever worn! But today.. that is me, I love wearing new stuff, and colors, BRIGHT colors! This was NEVER me before!!!! I know God has been doing a marvelous change in me, because of this and many many other changes in my 'personality'. I want to be who I am, there is no abnormal fear of what others think, and if someone says they don't like something about me, or who I am, I just laugh, and I'm ok with it! (As long as its not something God needs to work on me about). I LOVE it! :D. Today, I am wearing a top that is Camo, and the shoulders are Lace... ;). I like it. My brothers all hate it, My sister says I look nice in it, and my Dad said he really liked it yesterday. :)

Sorry

Tonight I said I am sorry

I said, aww, tomorrow it will be forgotten

I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to
It took me nearly two hours to.
I sat reading your word.
You said how much you loved me
You wouldn't let me forget your prompting
You asked me how much I love you.
I put down the book
hesitating a few moments longer
then with shaking hands
I went and apologized
I feel better
I know I've done what you asked
a huge weight fell off my shoulders when I obeyed
it was something that was so small
but you said if you could trust me with the small
you would trust me with the big
I love you.

This Hills

I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Isreal will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm- he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121

Beautiful

Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace

(Chorus)
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face

(Chorus)

I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace

Batistelli

Tired

Will I sleep tonight? I hope there is no more stink bugs in this house!! I hope Dulche doesn't scratch her fleas all night, and I hope Batches doesn't hear any more raindrops on the roof to get all excited about :). I hope we all sleep peacefully tonight.

Never Shamed

It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy....

Anyone who trusts in Him will NEVER be put to shame.

a couple verses the Lord showed me this morning while reading.... :)

I'm sorry

I hear you, my thoughts are in turmoil. You speak, I don't want to listen any more, tears are falling down my face. I just want to get away, but I know as soon as I do I am going to go to bed and cry myself to sleep. I wanted one thing, I got nothing. If I say nothings wrong you say there is something wrong, if I tell you whats wrong, you say I always put you down. If I give up, and leave it be, everything just falls apart, and everybody thinks the other doesn't care about the other. I love you more than words can say, I want the best for you, and I want you to be happy. I also just want to spend time with you. I can't do much that you ask any more. I'm sorry.