Sorry

Tonight I said I am sorry

I said, aww, tomorrow it will be forgotten

I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to
It took me nearly two hours to.
I sat reading your word.
You said how much you loved me
You wouldn't let me forget your prompting
You asked me how much I love you.
I put down the book
hesitating a few moments longer
then with shaking hands
I went and apologized
I feel better
I know I've done what you asked
a huge weight fell off my shoulders when I obeyed
it was something that was so small
but you said if you could trust me with the small
you would trust me with the big
I love you.

This Hills

I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Isreal will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm- he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121

Beautiful

Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace

(Chorus)
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face

(Chorus)

I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace

Batistelli

Tired

Will I sleep tonight? I hope there is no more stink bugs in this house!! I hope Dulche doesn't scratch her fleas all night, and I hope Batches doesn't hear any more raindrops on the roof to get all excited about :). I hope we all sleep peacefully tonight.

Never Shamed

It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy....

Anyone who trusts in Him will NEVER be put to shame.

a couple verses the Lord showed me this morning while reading.... :)

I'm sorry

I hear you, my thoughts are in turmoil. You speak, I don't want to listen any more, tears are falling down my face. I just want to get away, but I know as soon as I do I am going to go to bed and cry myself to sleep. I wanted one thing, I got nothing. If I say nothings wrong you say there is something wrong, if I tell you whats wrong, you say I always put you down. If I give up, and leave it be, everything just falls apart, and everybody thinks the other doesn't care about the other. I love you more than words can say, I want the best for you, and I want you to be happy. I also just want to spend time with you. I can't do much that you ask any more. I'm sorry.

Oh, How he loves us....

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave Him up for us all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? Christ Jesus, who died-more than that, who was raised to life- is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall seperate us from the love of Christ?

He died for me. He rose for me. Now He sits at God's right hand continuously interceding for me. What or How could I lack, when I am in His care? Oh, How He loves me, Oh......

In all these things we are more than conquerers through him who loved us. When He has loved us so deeply that he does all of this, what would He not give to/for us? He gives us all we need. Ask, and it shall be given to you, says your Heavenly Father.

Most Scripture taken from Romans 8.

Attitude

Today a show came on christian Radio that I normally love to listen to. The lady was talking about Song of Solomon, and how he had just made love for the first time with his beloved, describing it in the same hot steaminess as Solomon does. I walked away. I stomped up the stairs with a scowl on my face. I guess you could say I had an attitude. I just didn't want to hear about it today.

Its True!

He's taking care of me
In ways, that I cannot see
He's workin things for my good
Just like he said he would
He's taking care of me!

Isaacs

Right

Freezing Rain, Sleet, Cloudy Dreary Day, Then Snowflakes, tons of huge, wet ones fell, turning the cold day into a dangerous wintery wonderland. The chickens didn't spend much time outside today. The only part to be seen of our gorgeous Siberian Husky, Skyler, who normally LOVES the snow... was his black and white mask peeking from the shed door. Yes, it was a good day to be stuck in the house with my family. All of my family. Just makes life seem right.

Silence

Hello you said, I'd like to chat. I wasn't excited, every day a new one says the same thing. I looked at your profile. Christian, and not afraid to state it, tall, you seem close with family, likes to do similar things... Hmmm... think I could really like this guy.... You don't live more than a few hours away. My heart starts to whistle softly a tune. Well, I think its worth a try, not often I will actually say that about someone, but who knows, I'll prolly never hear from you again. Hello you said, here's my number. The tune is becoming a happy little hum. I shook my head. Nuh-uh, I ain't texting you first buster! I grin. I sent you back my number with a little smiley face, and got offline. Maybe.... my heart whispers. Been so long since I let it sing, would my heart sing one day soon? I am looking forward to hearing from you again. I smile and close the computer. Five minutes later my phone chimes. No... it couldn't be, not already! It was you. The tune in my heart is getting louder now. We texted for hours, I was on vacation, but I was trying to keep up with you between visiting first windmills, and then cows with my family..... I felt bad, I was getting too busy and not enjoying my time with them while walking thru a museum answering a text every two minutes. I was sorry, but I said thank you, and hoped we would text chat again really soon. Its been two days. I texted you that night, you were very short with me. I felt tears in my heart. The song began to die. I knew it was too good to be true, it could not have been you. Silence.

Without You

What would life be... without you?

Traveling

I love traveling... from the time I was five, six years old probably I remember mom and dad packing up our little old car, and just taking off, sometimes not even knowing where we were going to end up. Sometimes we would end up in Indianapolis to see friends, or even Alabama, sometimes we would spend a couple weeks in Florida camping in my great grandparent back yard, or sleeping in my grandparents extra bedroom. Hiking the trails at Turkey Run, visiting re-enactment camps, learning to play oldtime games, and watching ladies in big dresses cook over a fire place. Sometimes we would head up to michigan to the lake, to see our great grandparents, watch my great grandpa make his wooden doo-dads in his tiny little shop. I love the sound of the thu-thunk when the car goes over the lines on the road. Sunshine or rain, I love watching trees, homes, cars, lives pass as we come apon a new scene after every bend. Singing praise and worship music with mom and dad all day or all night to help them keep awake. I loved the nights at the hotels, where you would become fast friends with the other kids swimming in the hotel pool that night, and you exchanged names and addresses promising to write, but never hearing from them again. I love dad coming into the room, "rise and shine kids! Time to get up and get going!" No matter if we stayed up too late the night before watching the three stooges on an all night marathon. Either free breakfast in the Lobby, or McDonalds Mcmuffins with orange juice and hash browns all around would get everyone going every morning. New smells.... every where you go smells different. The smell of the ocean roaring, and the sun baking the sand, the smell of pine needles, wood smoke, and old tents. The smell of a hotel room, the smell of my grandparents trailer in Florida, and the smell of five kids stuffed in the back of a van. Traveling, is always an adventure! :)

Vacation

Vacation....
Sleeping in beds you haven't made.
Seeing sights you haven't seen.
Meeting People you haven't met.
Eating food you didn't cook.
Walking where you've never walked
Trying things you've never tried.
Riding roads you've never rode :)
Yea, I love vacations...
even short ones

He is changing me!

I believe in a God who can change lives!!! I am sitting here in about the worst shape I have ever been in physically, and nearly the worst shape mentally. The thought in my mind is when I know that He can do this, why must I always doubt? I was thinking, it shouldn't be so hard to confess the truth. God's word says confess with your mouth, and believe. Right now I am going to confess. I believe God can change lives, and that HE is changing me.

Content

I have learned to be content... whatever state I am in. What would it be like to truly be able to say this? If its not being 18 and longing for the love of my life, 22 and wishing I hadn't fallen to the depths of sin that I had fallen into, or 28 and wishing to have the energy and desire for life that I had when I was 17. Can I just be content where I am at? Can I learn to love me, and my life at this point, and look forward to tomorrow with relish? Can I live in the here and now? Lord in your wisdom and lovingkindness please bring me to the place where I can say, in whatever state I am in, that I am truly content. IJN

Guts

Gumption, Umph, Spirit, Stick-with-itness, Push, Determination, all things I desire, but have proven impossible for me. Why? I can't figure out why I can't do it. Sigh

Eye Makeup

Can't breath.... ugh. If I start dripping tears while you are talking to me, don't worry, I'm not crying.... I hate colds. Today was a good day tho, but I'm glad to be sitting in my living room, watching my sis and brother playing sims. and listening to my brothers talk about their friend's birthday party tonight that one of them went to. Mom and dad have been enjoying thier time alone together. My dad has been up all night the last few nights, hopefully he will be able to sleep alot tonight. Me too. I walked into the house yesterday and my sister cornered me asked me why i have makeup on.. .ummm I didn't.... Thats what happened when you get sick and exhausted.... you look like you have eye makeup on I guess lol. Sigh.